Of all the ways to find out about Tim Russert,
In a hotel suite in Lexington, Kentucky
In an email from Reno, the guy who runs Tampa Team Trivia
Which I only opened because Gmail cut it off as "A Great Loss, Tim"
And I was worried I was being fired
Fox News should be banned. Seriously, I'm a huge First Amendment defender, but when a major network shows such disregard for truth, facts, and history, I gotta shut 'em down.
Except they didn't show Stephen A. Douglas' photo. They used FREDERICK DOUGLASS' PHOTO.
I guess we know the answer to one question: Is Fox smarter than a fifth grader? NOPE.
How, exactly, is it possible to not know that Gary Glitter is a child rapist?
It's not like it's something recent. He's been molesting children for decades. He's been kicked out of four countries!
Oh, yeah, you might know a dude who gets quoted a few times in that article. Read all the way to the end, he sounds particularly smart there.
Jim Cramer suffers from bipolar disorder. See what happens when he is off his meds.
Congratulations, Buckeye State, you've managed to be more racist than VIRGINIA and SOUTH CAROLINA.
Nothing has demolished my faith in this nation and its government more than watching this jibberish in Washington today. Our elected officials -- the ones who write and pass the laws under which we live -- are quite possibly the stupidest and most pandering individuals I have ever had the disgusting experience of listening to. The lower third on MSNBC says "Congress grills Roger Clemens" but I think they accidentally typed "grills" instead of "fellates." If you're going to waste my money investigating this nonsense, then ask real questions, and follow up on them when you get unsatisfactory answers. I have never in my life seen such a parade of idiocy and ridiculousness as this circus that is unfolding on my television screen right now.
I anxiously await a day when our citizens are educated to the point that they elect intelligent, capable legislators instead of the goons and clowns that I see in this hearing chamber.
That was a rant prompted by the projection Clinton was leading by 100 delegates.
I woke up today to find that... that does not appear to be the case.
BTW, that thing self-updates, is interactive, and is sure to make me look ridiculous as the primary season continues!
Thanks to all of you who voted for Clinton. You've ensured four more years of Republican rule.
Seriously, I want to hear from one of you. Anybody. I want to know why you voted for Clinton. Why you believe she can transcend the vast nation of Americans who hate her guts and will never vote for her. Yes, her reputation is undeserved. But she doesn't possess the power or inspiration to overcome that.
Enjoy four more years of military-industrial complex. Four more years of restricted civil rights. Four more years of massive debt, four more years of right-wing judges, four more years of Halliburton and Blackwater and dead American boys and girls.
Defend yourself, Clinton fans. Tell me your delusion about how she suddenly becomes a superstar public speaker, who brings people to tears with her passion and hope to bring America together.
Obama speaks of not a blue state or red state but a United States of America.
Hillary is a human wedge.
Thanks a bunch, kiddos. (The demographic data shows Hillary was put over the top by women and Latinos, very few of whom voted for Obama. Since this blog is read by roughly 98% white dudes, this rant may be falling on deaf ears.)
Oh, and all those conservatives, throwing up in their mouths at the idea that "liberal" John McCain is their candidate? They'll be climbing over themselves for a third opportunity to vote in the box opposite from the one marked "Clinton."
Seriously, are you just idiots? Do you not possess the capability of rational thought?
What the hell? This speech isn't even a week old yet, and dozens of actors/musicians/directors have somehow... well, if you haven't seen it yet, WATCH. NOW. Obama's speech turned into musical poetry, hip-hop but not, I have no words, I have no reaction, because what I feel goes far beyond the English language.
Fun game for white people! Try and name all the celebrities who appear in the video. If you don't get Kareem, you fail. If you don't get Scarlett Johansson, you fail. If you don't get Herbie Hancock, that just means you're white. Proceed to your nearest Wikipedia and research thusly.
As for me, I'll be the one in the corner, wiping away tears, rubbing down the goosebumps, and hoping Tuesday brings meaning to all that is meaningful.
America is notorious for its silent majorities. It would seem that, at least within the Democratic Party, the Hillary Clinton supporters are one of these silent majorities.
The press maintains Hillary will have a "huge" Super Tuesday, yet I don't know a single person who is a Clinton supporter (I know a class or subgroup of people who are Clinton supporters, but I don't know any personally). It seems like the reasonable Democrat would realize Clinton is such a divisive individual that she couldn't possibly win a November election except against a similarly-divisive Republican candidate -- most of which have dropped out of the race.
So speak up, Clinton supporters. I need to know you're out there, and why you're sticking with her. Anecdotal evidence suggests not reasons for attraction to her but reasons to be repelled from Obama, which isn't really reason for supporting her at all. Notably, this process is going the exact opposite from 2004, in which friends and family who voted for Kerry in the primaries (I was, and remained until just days ago, an Edwards supporter) did so "because he can beat Bush," which (and maybe I was the only one) seemed rather ridiculous to me at the time -- fruit borne later in the general election.
The Republican candidate will end up being nominated after having been the choice of, at the most, 1/3 of his own party's voters. The Democrat will similarly be the choice of a minority population. That leaves a lot of votes left to be won. It seems obvious to me that the candidate most equipped to speak to that vulnerable population of voters is the one who can speak to them in a voice that gives them hope for a brighter future; a voice that can move the mountains that had become a permanent fixture on the horizon of their American consciousness.
It's clear there's one candidate left in the presidential race with those philosophically-terraforming capabilities. His name is Barack Obama.
My candidate, John Edwards, suspended his campaign today. He remains a voice of working Americans and a strong protector of union labor. I hope he uses his leverage to ensure the Democratic candidate does the same.
Speaking of labor, the WGA strike continues, and I continue to proudly wear my WGA strike shirt every chance I get. The AMPTP's ridiculous behavior in refusing to negotiate honestly has ruined a great many lives and careers. Yet there are a few positives, one of them being SAG/DGA's ongoing "Speechless" campaign, the most recent episode of which is... well... HOTHOTHOT
I may be a registered independent (and were I a registered Democrat my vote would still be left unheard) but that doesn't mean primary day isn't important to me. My first ever vote was in an Ohio primary at the young age of 17 (I voted for California's Pete Wilson, which is again proof that teenagers are stupid). So I'm headed out the door in a few minutes to make my way back to my Florida birthplace, East Pasco County, to register a single vote: NO on Amendment One.
It seems to me that there are more people today interested in politics than public speaking. As someone who has been living in the sphere of both nearly since birth (though, unquestionably, my understanding of the need for skills in the latter were impressed upon me as a tyke by the former a regarde a whistlestop visit from a campaigning Mr. Potatoe) it has been an exciting weekend. And so I present you, if you missed them, two truly exemplar American speeches -- the kind that give you goosebumps, make you cry, or have Viagra-like effects, depending on how sexy you find public speaking or simply being inspired. If you haven't seen them, please watch them. Or at least open this in another tab and listen while you read Deadspin or something.
Barack Obama's South Carolina victory speech Saturday night (greatest in my lifetime):
Ted Kennedy endorsing Obama Sunday (skip to 3:00 to get past Caroline, who is a truly commendable woman but, let's face it, her father and uncle simply were taken from her before their oratory ability could leave an impression):
And here's Obama's acceptance of the endorsement, which is laudable on its own, pale only to the two diamonds of American oratory above:
As for Ted Kennedy's endorsement, and obviously I'm a NOW supporter, but what the hell!?!!:
Senator Ted Kennedy Betrays Women by Not Standing for Hillary Clinton for President; Ultimate Betrayal Felt by Women Everywhere [...] We are repaid with his abandonment! He’s picked the new guy over us. He’s joined the list of progressive white men who can’t or won’t handle the prospect of a woman president who is Hillary Clinton (they will of course say they support a woman president, just not “this” one).
That wasn't, apparently, enough. I'm not making this up people, go to the NOW-New York press release yourself:
Psychological Gang Bang of Hillary is Proof We Need a Woman President by Marcia Pappas, President NOW - New York State
Reading this kind of divisive language, implying that women ought to support Clinton because she's a woman and for no other reason, simply highlights the brilliance of Obama and Kennedy's speeches. (NOW really ought to consider why the public perception of feminism is so misguided; press releases like the above two are a primary reason. Antagonizing people with ridiculous language is not the way to adhere noncommitted individuals to your cause.)
Hackers on steroids take to the streets (specifically, the Orlando Scientology HQ) for some IRL trolling. And it works! The best part is "Go, Anonymous, Go!"
Go indeed. Truly anonymous is legion...
1. I am not a Hillary Clinton supporter per se, but if another Clinton in the White House means another government that saves more money than it spends, I am in favor of it.
2. $300 did nothing last time. It'll do even less this time.
3. We're borrowing this money from China. Like a collection service calling when you've missed a few credit card bills, China will be coming for us. Soon.
4. People spending money combined with cutting corporate taxes will not result in corporations hiring more workers. Corporations have plenty of money. In fact, corporations are doing amazingly well -- they can afford to pay utterly inept CEOs who drive can't-lose franchises into the ground millions just for leaving. Do you really believe corporations will use extra money to hire workers? THEY HAVE EXTRA MONEY NOW.
America is systematically defiling herself, and until we all wake up and pull our collective heads out of our asses, we're going to be heading toward a future in which our kids aren't being drafted to fight brown people, but yellow ones.
Fiscal responsibility. Now.
Fox News commentator:
"Bhutto's assassination is clearly a setback to her campaign for change."
Well that's not surprising. Being dead tends to get in the way of one's productivity.
Unless you're Tupac, or Biggie. Those dudes turned it into a real shot in the arm.
Get it? "Shot" in the arm? I'm hilarious.
Beyond less crime, free medical care, and more civil liberties, there is one significant difference Canada has over the United States.
In the U.S., a certain group responsible for lulz are hackers on steroids and an Internet Hate Machine.
In Canada, the same is an Internet Vigilante Group, kind of like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but without the ninja skills or being, well, turtles.
All hail Anonymous!
I was going to post here about the SAFE act, a law passed nearly unanimously by the U.S. House (one of the two nay votes came from the only tolerable Republican Presidential candidate, Ron Paul) that would, upon passage, make nearly the entire Internet illegal.
This YTMND explains it much more clearly than I could. Plus, the soundtrack is good.
If you haven't figured out who to support in the TV writers' strike that is crippling late-night TV, this feature from the writers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart should help clarify things for you:
(HT: Wil.)
Incidentally, that video also makes it pretty clear that Jon Stewart gets far too much credit for the humor on his show. In the same vein, it's nice to see people using formal logic syllogisms to state their claims:
Viacom: "Content online has value."
Writers: "We write content that you put online."
Thus,
Writers make content that has value and for which they're not paid.
That's a huge deal, especially to me, and even bigger to other people. It will be ignored by the media, and the few sources that do report it will be speaking to an audience of Americans who have no idea what it means.
No idea whatsoever.
57 percent of Americans do not like learning about political issues in other countries.
That's right. They're not just ignorant to those issues, they actively avoid them.
It's begun. All hail President Camacho.
I'm an "Islamofascist sympatyzer" !!!
No, srsly. I don't know what a sympatizer is, maybe one of those machines made by Bob Moog in the waning days of the analog synthesizer? I'm guessing if I'm an Islamofascist version I have cool vox like the rebab.
I wrote an article last week for Sticks about USF students Youssef Megahed and Ahmed Mohamed, and how I don't think they're terrorists. In response, the thoroughly unreadable blog Winds of Jihad called me the aforementioned insult (?):
A few day’s [sic] ago some Islamofascist sympatyzers [sic] accused Sheik Yer’mami in being judge, prosecuter [sic] and executioner, telling us the 2 smiling creeps from Tampa are ‘not terrorists’ and perfectly ‘innocent’-
Yeah, I just copied-and-pasted the [sic]s. Bloggers like this crazy woman are enjoying the Google connections between other accused terror suspects and the students, but again, I really recommend you not bother reading the sites, because they're so rife with spelling and grammar errors that they might make your head explode.
The comments, though, are comedy gold.
Just throw the two damn dirty bedouins the hell out of this country!! Put their sorry ass-faces on the no-fly-list, and don't EVER allow them to set one foot on OUR US soil.
and
But, all they'll do is take a course in Spainish and come back later.
and
As for these guys.. turn them into the pork sausages they are. Why do we allow foreigners into this country to cause all kinds of mayhem? Is every politician in Washington stabbing us in the back? There is a large and conservative movement in this country. With the right person, we can still accomplish a lot.
and
I wish there would be a Republican candidate who would be brave enough to run on a platform of ending ALL Muslim immigration into our country.
and
Smiling, laughing hyenas!
That is to say that they'd be comedy gold if they weren't absolutely frightening. These are your American voters, folks.
On November 3rd, 2000, I wrote this article, one I think might be the funniest piece I ever wrote. If the phrase "Pine Tar Incident" doesn't mean anything to you, read this first.
ORLANDO (ROOTERS) -- Voting authorities have announced that the presidential election is being "played under dispute" following new allegations that some citizens voted with an illegal amount of pine tar.
Governor George Bush's campaign is arguing the votes previously recorded for Vice President Al Gore should be thrown out in all-important Royal Springs County.
Bush Deputy Campaign Director Billy Martin declared, "The votes shouldn't count. Gore should be out. The voters had more than 18 inches of pine tar from ballot to pen."
Election officials are considering the plan to throw out the votes, while Florida Attorney General Lea MacPhail is promising to overrule her own umpires if they make such a decision.
"If the votes are called out, we will have a resumption of the voting at a later date," she said.
Meanwhile, voters are furious. "I've been waiting my whole life to see Al Gore finally win an election. I can't believe that these officials are going to throw my vote out based on such an irrelevant and silly rule that no officials ever enforced before," stated Gore supporter and Cuban immigrant Jorge Brett.
Bush supporters are adamant he won the election. "I couldn't beat Al Gore before, but I think I know why now," stated former vice presidential candidate Goose Gossage.
Lynn Wachtmann is an asshole. (HT: Consumerist.)
Since 90% of you aren't from Ohio, you might want to know who Lynn Wachtmann is. Lynn Wachtmann is a politician from my hometown of Napoleon, Ohio. Through my childhood, he served as our representative to the Ohio House, then moving on to the Senate, then back to the House (leaving office only as a result of term limits) where he currently serves. He has a long track record of being an asshole, including:
1. Beating up a teenage girl he thought was his daughter, but wasn't.
November 7, 1994 Columbus Dispatch
A state legislator said he is sorry he slapped a 15-year-old girl who was at a party with his daughter.
State Rep. Lynn Wachtmann, R-Napoleon, said he mistakenly slapped the girl Sept. 25 after he and three other parents removed their children from a party where alcohol was being served to minors.
All were being driven from the party in Wachtmann's van, which he stopped later to discipline his daughter. In the dark, Wachtmann said he slapped the wrong girl.
Note that he didn't apologize for slapping a 15-year-old girl. He apologized for slapping the wrong girl. If he had slapped his own daughter, apparently, that would have been fine. He was re-elected in a landslide following the incident.
Also, I totally wasn't at that party or anything.
2. Got arrested for drunken boating.
October 3, 2000 AP
Sen. Lynn Wachtmann pleaded guilty to a charge of operating a boat while impaired on a Michigan lake and will be sentenced in November.
Wachtmann, R-Napoleon, was charged Sept. 3 with operating a pontoon while under the influence of liquor.
According to court records, Wachtmann registered a 0.13 blood-alcohol content when tested by Branch County Sheriff's Department officers.
You have to be pretty soused to operate a boat so badly you get pulled over for it. Trust us, we own a boat. Sort of. We totally don't know someone who was on that boat at the time he got busted.
3. He voted against switching from the electric chair to lethal injection as Ohio's form of capital punishment.
November 16, 2001 Dayton Daily News
The vote in the Senate was 26-3 with Sens. C.J. Prentiss, D-Cleveland, Tim Ryan, D-Niles, and Lynn Wachtmann, R-Napoleon, casting the "no" votes.
The Georgia Supreme Court in October struck down the use of the electric chair, saying it violated the state Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment.
You know you're in bad shape when Georgia looks positively advanced by comparison.
4. He voted against a crackdown on telemarketers.
May 7, 2003 AP
Democrats joined Republicans in the GOP-controlled Senate to vote 32-1 in favor of the bill. Sen. Lynn Wachtmann, a Republican from Napoleon, who voted 'no,' said the bill was bad for small businesses and consumers.
If consumers really didn't want companies to call, telemarketers wouldn't bother them "because there wouldn't be the demand," Wachtmann said.
*Facepalm*
5. He similarly voted against a crackdown on internet spam.
November 18, 2004 Toledo Blade
COLUMBUS - A northwest Ohio lawmaker was the sole dissenter yesterday as the Senate voted 29-1 to approve a bill aimed at putting e-mail spammers in the can.
"This is overkill," said state Sen. Lynn Wachtmann (R., Napoleon), saying that companies that accidentally send as few as five e-mails could be targeted. "This is in the eye of the beholder. Do we want to hamper and create such a burden on commercial users of the Internet?"
But state Sen. Ron Amstuz (R., Wooster) said Mr. Wachtmann misinterpreted what the legislation says.
The bill, sponsored by state Rep. Kathleen Walcher (R., Norwalk), would make it a crime if someone uses false information to register five or more e-mail accounts and fraudulently uses them to transmit unsolicited commercial e-mail.
None of these atrocities, however, compare to his latest caper, his co-sponsoring of 2007 HB 287:
To enact section 2919.124 of the Revised Code relative to requiring paternal consent before an abortion may be performed.
Oh, it gets better.
A pregnant woman seeking to abort her pregnancy shall provide, in writing, the identity of the father of the fetus to the person who is to perform or induce the abortion.
What if she got pregnant at a sperm bank? What if she was raped?
A copy of a police report or a complaint, indictment, information, or other court document that gives the person who is to perform or induce the abortion reasonable cause to believe that the woman became pregnant as the result of rape or incest.
Only 16 percent of rapes are reported to police, for reasons you might imagine. But wouldn't the co-sponsors of this bill (there are seven more of them) have considered this? Let's take a look at them.
One of these things is not like the other,
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Anyway, it gets better. Here are some circumstances under which a woman could not get an abortion:
1. Her husband impregnates her, is called up to the Army, and is killed in Iraq. The woman decides it's wrong to raise a child by herself in these tough times, and... WHOOPS, WHERE'S THE FATHER'S SIGNATURE? Sorry, he's dead.
2. Two fourteen-year-old kids fool around and she gets pregnant. Obviously this girl is in no position to raise a child and she and the parents decide she'll get an abortion. The father is run over by Stephen King in a van and goes into a coma. He can't sign the form, so the girl can't get the abortion (even though her parents approve!)
It gets better. Say I'm a man (I am) and a woman I didn't sleep with claims I'm the only man she slept with. You know, like Billie Jean. I'm forced to submit my personal DNA to THE STATE in order to prove I didn't do anything wrong, and that's on the public record. If I refuse to provide the state a sample of my DNA, I'm ARRESTED FOR ABORTION FRAUD.
Anyway, this law is just bizarre, and that Wachtmann is behind it doesn't surprise me one bit. He's a prick, and I don't call people that often, especially people I see in person on a regular basis. But, then, I live in Florida now.
President Bush is speaking live on television right now. He just said something so absurd ... I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost.
"People will try and tell you [Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11]...it's like they watch a man walk into a bank with a mask and a gun and saying he's just there to cash a check."
Whut
I wrote this for Sticks of Fire, but as Tommy's on vay-kay I thought I'd post it here.
A Tampa man is in jail for violating Florida's flag-desecration law.
Police say 45-year-old Donnie White stomped on the flag, sat on it, and "rubbed it on himself." He's charged under Florida statute 876.52, under the category "Criminal Anarchy, Treason, and Other Crimes Against Public Order" (check it out, it's almost entirely made up of laws aimed at the KKK):
Public mutilation of flag.--Whoever publicly mutilates, defaces, or tramples upon or burns with intent to insult any flag, standard, colors, or ensign of the United States or of Florida shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the first degree.
First degree misdemeanors are punishable by a $1,000 fine and a year in jail. It isn't White's first clash with the cops; Hillsborough County records show several open container and disorderly conduct violations. Yet Donnie may have more than a public defender on his side this time around; flag desecration laws were struck down by the 1989 Texas v. Johnson Supreme Court case (one my Public Speaking students know very well).
I love America. I cheer for us in the Olympics and World Cup. I vote. I blow sh*t up on Independence Day. I have a flag I fly from time to time. Yet I recognize the semiotic difference between signifier and signified. Donnie White wasn't stomping on America; he was stomping on the symbol of an idea -- an idea that, by way of the First Amendment, protects his right to stomp on it (though I doubt Donnie had any particular political expression in mind).
Flag desecration laws are fairly ludicrous on their face, however -- regardless of their unconstitutionality. This is for several reasons:
1. The U.S. Flag Code is regularly violated. Here's a few examples:
2. To ban desecration of an object, you have to define that object. How do you define the American Flag? If I draw it on a blackboard with chalk, am I not allowed to erase the blackboard? If I make an American Flag cake am I not allowed to eat it?
3. What, exactly, is desecration? How do you delineate between burning the flag in protest and burning it to dispose of a used or worn flag?
Certainly if this story makes any kind of national news, the ACLU will come to Donnie White's aid -- and they should, as Florida's law is in clear violation of Texas v. Johnson. Interestingly enough, Donnie would be in the same situation if he'd stomped on the Confederate flag -- that's illegal in Florida too.
Thoughts?
http://www.theolympian.com/112/story/60302.html
Gore's 'Truth' restricted at schools
FEDERAL WAY - The school board in this suburb south of Seattle has restricted showings of Al Gore's movie on global warming, including requiring that it be balanced with an adequate opposing viewpoint.
...it's a science movie. Didn't you people watch it?
The board also required Superintendent Tom Murphy to approve when the former vice president's film, "An Inconvenient Truth," can be presented.
You know, because he doesn't have anything better to be doing.
The decision was sparked by complaints from parents who said their child was taking the film as fact after viewing it at school.
...it's a science movie. It's not just fact, it's "Truth."
"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who doesn't want the film shown at all.
Chill out, Frosty. I can see why you'd be in denial about global warming (can this possibly be a real name? This is definitely an Onion article) but what do condoms have to do with a movie about climate change? And is all you want shown in schools people who are actual teachers? That really limits the multimedia opportunities.
Also, seven kids? Maybe condoms belonged in your school.
"The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is," Hardison told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. "The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."
*head asplode*
"We have to ensure that our schools are not being used to politically indoctrinate anyone," said board member Dave Larson, who with Barney and board member Charlie Hoff voted Tuesday for the requirements. None has seen the movie.
I'm glad they're fiating policy with an informed opinion.
"I am shocked that a school district would come to this decision," the movie's co-producer, Laurie David, said in a prepared statement. "There is no opposing view to science, which is fact, and the facts are clear that global warming is here, now."
Duh.
But Larson offered two opposing articles, including one by author John Stossel that said many scientists discredit global warming predictions. He also cited NASA and NOAA Web sites referring to debate and disagreement over climate change.
Ahhhhhahaha John Stossel -- this article went over the edge of cliche with this one. It must be fake.
The film also has been denied a showing at Tacoma's Remann Hall, a high school for juvenile offenders, where Principal Rue Palmer denied a teacher's request.
"YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU TRY AND SHOW THAT MOVIE," Palmer said.
Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald Ford to death.
Sweet, found a screen cap. Dana Carvey should have never left SNL.
In the 1980's, Republicans looked to contemporary culture for their youthful hero-men. Most notably, they pointed toward Family Ties character Alex P. Keaton, the Reagan-loving Young Republican, as an icon for the age. In 1984, the Republican Party came to Michael J. Fox, the young actor who portrayed Keaton, hoping he'd perform in a role supporting the re-election of Ronald Reagan. Fox refused the request, saying that it would be improper due to his being a Canadian citizen.
Looks like he's changed his mind when it comes to supporting candidates.
Vote Democrat. Not just because Michael J. Fox said so, but because Republicans would rather see Mr. Fox suffer than do the right thing. Which is, of course, permit federal funds to be used for stem cell research. Throwing aside Iraq, the rest of the world laughs at us when we do things like ban stem cell research. It makes us look as backward-ass as the Arabs we claim to be at war with.
Watch the video again. Think about where we could be. Think about where we are. Think about the pen as a bridge to where we ought to be.
This morning, I woke up and fried two eggs for breakfast.
Then Bush vetoed funding for stem cell research.
This morning, I woke up and fried two chickens for breakfast.
Batten down the hatches, it's the Day of Reckoning. Collect money for all your kids, and earn your pension based on your profession. Maybe spin that crazy plastic wheel that always flies out of its holder one more time for memory's sake. Why?
1. A Fox News anchor, NOT Bill O'Reilly, told a guest, "You are the DEVIL!"
2. I actually agreed with her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCdT9dfrb-Q
Edit: If you haven't gone and seen Jobsite Theater's We Won't Pay! We Won't Pay! then you're missing out and this is your last chance to see it so GO TONIGHT because it's amazing and my full review is coming soon
After a day spent pleading with poker players and writers to let me interview them, I tripped down the BBD to check out the film An Inconvenient Truth on its opening night in the Tampa Bay area.
I was pleased to find a nearly-packed theatre. The film itself is beyond description. I can only say that if you don't see this picture, you're doing yourself and our country a great disservice. It's beyond epic. I wish it were longer, but I suppose director Davis Guggenheim decided 105 minutes of powerful material was enough. The end of the film is the best part; make sure you stay through the credits, as they're probably the most important part of the picture, and the only "activist" one.
I walked out shaking and called my parents, urging them to see the film, and I urge you all to do the same. I only wish Mr. Gore had been so clear and charming (and funny!) during the 2000 campaign.
After the film, I ran down to the UA Hangout to meet Tina and Charles. We pasted two #1s on the rest of the country in the span of 90 minutes, and Tina and Charles took off leaving me with a stack of plastic shot cups, signifying the free drinks we'd earned for our superior intellect.
So I crossed the bar and chatted up the two girls who kept looking at me. The blonde scenester type was, as I'd predicted by her body language, the bartender's girlfriend. The other, the brunette, apparently also had a boyfriend, but was awfully interested in my shirt -- a Teen Girl Squad baseball shirt. After explaining Cheerleader, So-And-So, What's-Her-Face, and The Ugly One to her, she asked my name, and I hers.
I strained to hear it through the tones of the Geto Boys' "My Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me." I thought she said "Manda."
"Manda?"
"No, Nanda," she replied.
That's not your full name....
"Fernanda," she explained, and my evening's soundtrack hit the Play button, and would be all Abba, all the time.
So Ferndanda was Brazilian, and I discussed several ways of forcing her to prove her heritage, though she eventually resorted to simply showing me her ID. The eighteen middle names listed were proof enough to me. I've never understood why Brazilians have eighteen names but only go by one of them.
I start using my free drinks to buy shots, something called a "Funky Monkey" or ... I don't really remember. They were Kahlua, Bailey's, Banana liqueur, and cream, and I gobbled them up while I plotted my escape. It wasn't to be, and Fernanda dragged me to the dance floor where we did whatever people do on dance floors. "How old are you," she asked. "Mid-20s," I truthfully responded. She rolled her eyes, and I concluded ambiguity wouldn't be enough. I told her the truth, and we danced a while, before I begged off and said I really have to get going.
She ran to the bar and yelled for a pen, rushed back with a cocktail napkin, and told me to write down my number.
I didn't bother to ask for hers.
Edit: While collecting my things to go down to
