Journeys of Jack Tripper tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog/1 2008-07-04T15:51:21Z Movable Type 3.2 It's that time of year again tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.605 2008-07-04T15:49:48Z 2008-07-04T15:51:21Z It's another Independence Day. Time for fireworks, And sparklers, And parades. But my favorite part of every July 4 Is that show that happens Way up in New York. At Coney Island, Nathan's Hot Dog stand, A competition few would... Timothy It's another Independence Day.
Time for fireworks,
And sparklers,
And parades.
But my favorite part of every July 4
Is that show that happens
Way up in New York.
At Coney Island,
Nathan's Hot Dog stand,
A competition few would understand.
Some are skinny, but most of them
Are fat.
Eatin' hot dogs
In twelve minutes flat.

But then I saw this girl
Who really rocked my world
Five-foot-five,
100 pounds.
You would not believe,
Yeah, it would make you heave.

She gobbled 37.

She's the manager
Of a Jersey Burger King.
I bet that she could eat anything.
Her jaw can unhinge like a mighty snake,
I wonder how much of mine she can take.

I wish she was my queen.
Her talents are obscene,
How much sausage she can swallow.
But you would not believe,
Yeah, it would make you heave.

She gobbled 37.

Well we all should have
So much luck,
To have a gal so skilled
At the throat f... sex.
There's only thing about her
That's the pits:
Those hot dogs don't do nothing
For her tits.

Yeah, you would not believe.
I bet that it would make you heave.

She gobbled 37.

]]> so old! tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.604 2008-06-29T03:55:46Z 2008-06-29T03:58:51Z NBC is running the premiere episode of SNL right now, in honor of George Carlin who hosted that night. A full 50% of the people on here are dead today, I think. Carlin, Belushi, Andy Kaufman, O'Donoghue, Radner, Jim Henson...... Timothy NBC is running the premiere episode of SNL right now, in honor of George Carlin who hosted that night.

A full 50% of the people on here are dead today, I think. Carlin, Belushi, Andy Kaufman, O'Donoghue, Radner, Jim Henson... Billy Preston in the band...

I think that's more than 50%, now, and there's still 50 minutes of show left.

]]> this is why fark.com has a FLORIDA tag tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.603 2008-06-27T20:10:54Z 2008-06-27T20:12:18Z Timothy

]]> why i love wikipedia tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.602 2008-06-27T00:04:14Z 2008-06-27T00:05:36Z rofl... Timothy rofl

]]> well, that's a way to go tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.601 2008-06-13T22:35:49Z 2008-06-14T11:32:14Z Of all the ways to find out about Tim Russert, In a hotel suite in Lexington, Kentucky In an email from Reno, the guy who runs Tampa Team Trivia Which I only opened because Gmail cut it off as "A... Timothy Of all the ways to find out about Tim Russert,

In a hotel suite in Lexington, Kentucky

In an email from Reno, the guy who runs Tampa Team Trivia

Which I only opened because Gmail cut it off as "A Great Loss, Tim"

And I was worried I was being fired

]]> jinx my ass tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.600 2008-05-25T23:46:53Z 2008-05-25T23:51:57Z Your Tampa Bay Rays are 3-0 since this hit the newsstands. Maybe the fact it's a cartoon Carl Crawford makes it immune to the SI cover jinx. Oh, and if you haven't picked up your copy yet, what's keeping you?... Timothy Your Tampa Bay Rays are 3-0 since this hit the newsstands. Maybe the fact it's a cartoon Carl Crawford makes it immune to the SI cover jinx.

Oh, and if you haven't picked up your copy yet, what's keeping you? Seriously, comic books, Carl Crawford, and Derek Jeter with a broken back. It's the greatest Sports Illustrated cover EVAR.

]]> OH MY GOD tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.599 2008-04-30T03:32:14Z 2008-04-30T03:40:03Z Fox News should be banned. Seriously, I'm a huge First Amendment defender, but when a major network shows such disregard for truth, facts, and history, I gotta shut 'em down. While discussing the possibility of a Lincoln-Douglas style debate between... Timothy Fox News should be banned. Seriously, I'm a huge First Amendment defender, but when a major network shows such disregard for truth, facts, and history, I gotta shut 'em down.

While discussing the possibility of a Lincoln-Douglas style debate between Clinton and Obama, Fox put up photos of Lincoln and Douglas.

Except they didn't show Stephen A. Douglas' photo. They used FREDERICK DOUGLASS' PHOTO.

Fox News is not a legitimate news organization.

I guess we know the answer to one question: Is Fox smarter than a fifth grader? NOPE.

]]> OVERHEARD tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.598 2008-04-28T19:38:09Z 2008-04-28T19:42:31Z Of awl the dwamatic things... Rohjah Clemens is in McCready's box!... Timothy

Of awl the dwamatic things...
Rohjah Clemens is in McCready's box!

]]> SWEEEEEEEEEEEP CAROLINE *loss* *loss* loss* tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.597 2008-04-27T20:51:43Z 2008-04-27T20:53:06Z Timothy

]]> WHAT THE HELL tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.596 2008-04-15T11:17:11Z 2008-04-15T11:18:22Z Timothy

]]> you wish you had my skillz tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.595 2008-04-05T03:24:50Z 2008-04-05T03:28:33Z You know what that is? That is seven (I already ate one) quality guava-cream cheese pastries. Fresh and warm, puffy, crispy, sweet. You wish you had one right now. I know you do! But you can't have one right... Timothy

You know what that is? That is seven (I already ate one) quality guava-cream cheese pastries. Fresh and warm, puffy, crispy, sweet. You wish you had one right now. I know you do! But you can't have one right now. Because you're not here. Unless you're Jenn or Rob reading this right now, in which case yes, you can have one. Have more than one, seriously, because I can only eat about one of them. And there's fresh whipped cream in the fridge.

]]> how lucid tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.594 2008-04-03T16:46:18Z 2008-04-03T16:50:53Z Of course, the movie employs as its chief medium a brand of humor that appeals to the most childish and vulgar in its viewers. At its core, however, “Borat” attempts an ironic commentary of “modern” American culture, contrasting the backwardness... Timothy Of course, the movie employs as its chief medium a brand of humor that appeals to the most childish and vulgar in its viewers. At its core, however, “Borat” attempts an ironic commentary of “modern” American culture, contrasting the backwardness of its protagonist with the social ills that afflict supposedly sophisticated society. The movie challenges its viewers to confront not only the bizarre and offensive Borat character himself, but the equally bizarre and offensive reactions he elicits from “ordinary” Americans. Indeed, its message lies in that juxtaposition and the implicit accusation that “the time will come when it will disgust you to look in a mirror.”

From a literary review of Borat? Perhaps an academic journal article in the critical-cultural field?

nope.

From Judge Loretta Preska of the U.S. District Court for Manhattan, dismissing the lawsuit against 20th Century Fox from the guy who runs effeminately away from Baron Cohen's pursuits on the city streets of New York.

Glad to see SOMEBODY understood the point of the movie. Kudos, Judge Preska.

]]> aughgh head asploding time again tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.593 2008-03-22T05:21:55Z 2008-03-22T05:25:04Z One band has a charismatic, hirsute lead singer linked with some of the world's most attractive women. The other band has a charismatic, hirsute lead singer linked with some of the world's most attractive women. One band has talented instrumentalists... Timothy One band has a charismatic, hirsute lead singer linked with some of the world's most attractive women.
The other band has a charismatic, hirsute lead singer linked with some of the world's most attractive women.

One band has talented instrumentalists and an alt-roots-rock sound derived from The Band and Van Morrison.
The other band has talented instrumentalists and an alt-roots-rock sound derived from The Band and Van Morrison.

One band is tonight's musical guest on Leno.
The other band is tonight's musical guest on Letterman.

One band's name ends with "Crows."
The other band's name ends with "Crowes."

aauuuuuuuuuuusudohfiosjf kill me now.

]]> seriously, read a book or something tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.592 2008-03-20T07:06:09Z 2008-03-20T07:09:03Z How, exactly, is it possible to not know that Gary Glitter is a child rapist? It's not like it's something recent. He's been molesting children for decades. He's been kicked out of four countries! Yet look at all the people... Timothy How, exactly, is it possible to not know that Gary Glitter is a child rapist?

It's not like it's something recent. He's been molesting children for decades. He's been kicked out of four countries!

Yet look at all the people they found in this article who had no idea the 'Rock & Roll, Pt. 2' guy was a chronic child rapist.

Oh, yeah, you might know a dude who gets quoted a few times in that article. Read all the way to the end, he sounds particularly smart there.

]]> sad money :-( tag:www.entertainmentweakly.com,2008:/blog//1.591 2008-03-13T02:02:52Z 2008-03-13T02:04:21Z Jim Cramer suffers from bipolar disorder. See what happens when he is off his meds.... Timothy Jim Cramer suffers from bipolar disorder. See what happens when he is off his meds.

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