Yes, this is in the category of "sports."
Today is "Independence Day" in the United States. What is "Independence Day?" Perhaps we should consult Encyclopedia Dramatica:
The 4th of July is one of several United States holidays created to whip up patriotic American feelings and remind the rest of the world that they better not fuck with us. Also known as Independence Day, it was originally started by a small terrorist gang because they hated the civilized, British way of life, with its incessant tea & crumpets routine, and loose talk about abolishing slavery. Since then, the 4th of July has become an endearingly fetishized annual occasion for parades, picnics, and sex parties, that make the USA the world’s most admired nation.
I love the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating competition at Coney Island in New York. I like it so much I recorded a song about it. It's maybe the best song ever written about hot dogs. Evar.
Evar!
Anyway, so last night I celebrated with this girl and her boyfriend, by running around in the LA Hangout with sparklers while hitting on the girl, in unabashed fashion. Oh, and we did Mudkip shots. (Citing ED twice in one post? Crazy.)
Apparently I am seeing some band play in St. Petersburg tonight. i don't know what band is playing, but I know who's opening for them, so we have that going for us. It's Basic Rock Outfit, a band that somehow avoids the natural suckiness of being from Tampa.
Oh, yeah, and then there's the hot dog eating competition. Click the jump to read about that... LIVE.
I just heard a competitor referred to as a "burrito specialist."
Eater X just had a Harry Potter spoiler: "Hermione Dies." Hilarious.
Chestnut has thirteen after one minute.
Twenty after two minutes. Ten minutes left!
Kobayashi has 20.
1/3 of the way, Chestnut has 35. This is unreal.
Kobayashi has 30 and is trying to mix things up. The announcer just said "I can't imagine the pain," while describing Chestnut as "A great American."
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
Five minutes in, Chestnut has 39. He's slowing down....
6:00, 43-41 Chestnut over Kobayashi.
Did I mention I'm trying to eat during all this?
*trying*.
4:00 remaining, Chestnut up 51-49.
3:00 left! Chestnut 54-53! The record has been set!
It's tied at 55! 2:20 remaining...
TWO MINUTE WARNING! 57-56 Chestnut!
60 seconds left! Chestnut trying to force down 60! He does! So does Kobeyashi!
Announcer: "THIS WOULD BE THE GREATEST MOMENT IN AMERICAN SPORTS HISTORY IF CHESTNUT CAN WIN!"
10 Seconds! 9! 8! Tied at 62! Chestnut forcing!
Chestnut has 63! Kobayashi....... HE THREW UP! HE LOSES! CHESTNUT WINS! "A true American Hero" as the ESPN hack is calling him...
Super slow motion Kobayashi vomiting take... oh christ almighty. No way in hell I can finish my hot dogs after that.
KOBAYASHI IN SECOND! WITH 66! IT! IS! JOEY! CHESTNUT!
They deducted three hot dogs from KobAyashi for barfing. How did they measure how many hot dogs he threw up?
Anyway, it is certainly a great day for America.
