Journeys of Jack Tripper

In light of the whole Lonelygirl15 hoax, we've been asking ourselves what, exactly, is real? Our screens glow with images, and images are arguments -- claims and warrants to their own reality.

I'd been waiting all summer for NBC to premiere Aaron Sorkin's new Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. The program was, of course, the best thing on television since Sorkin left The West Wing. The program, if you're not familiar with it, portrays a "Saturday Night Life" copycat program. The show, like SNL, has a musical guest -- and the one shown on Monday night's premiere was a hip-hop act called "Three 6 Mafia."

Longtime readers know I am not entirely in touch with the hip-hop community, but I was sure this had to be a fabricated act. After all, they were TERRIBLE. The lyrics made me laugh out loud, they were such parody.

I'm in the club posted up (up) got my arms folded
Blunt in my mouth and these haters I'm scopin I'm just
Twistin my body from side 2 side (I'm just)
Twistin my body from side 2 side

Perhaps the fact Felicity Huffman was portraying herself should have alerted me to the chance "Three 6 Mafia" could have been a real act. But their appearance, looking like a bunch of janitors, led me to conclude they were an exaggeration of the current state of hip-hop.

Wrong.

So, yeah, that's Three 6 Mafia. They're a real band. With a really, really hilariously bad song. Yet it's the second verse -- the one they never get to on the Studio 60 premiere -- that's even more frightening.

See ho I don't dance (dance)
In the city where I'm from I wear the pants (wear the pants)
These bitches think they cool (cool)
I got the dick so I make the rules (make the rules)
I got a big ol cock (big ol cock)
I love a bitch with a big ol glock (big ol glock)
She love suckin up cum (cum)
I think I'mma give her some (some)
These niggaz in here think I'm a ho (I'm a ho)
Cuz I'm quiet and ain't on the dance flo (dance flo)
But if one of 'em try me (try me)
I'mma be the new ink in his diary (diary)
I bet my click thicker than his (his)
We gon leave him on the floor in tears (tears)
Plus I got a big tone (tone)
Y'all suckaz betta leave me alone (leave me alone)

But rap isn't all about sexism and objectification. Not at all.

Rap sucks.